By John Fee
The Bartlett Express and Cordova Beacon newspapers
Occasionally I get kidded about carrying two pens with me most of the time. I've just learned that if I carry two pens, I know I'll always have one.
Last Sunday, a couple things in the sermon at church struck a chord with me and I wanted to write them down. I didn't have my pens with me, not even one. So I'll take a shot at remembering. I'm sure I'll get the gist of it anyway.
One of the things said was "the object of our faith is not the Discovery Channel or The DaVinci Code, but the deposit of faith handed down to us." The other item that grabbed my attention was "we are not called to mediocrity, but to greatness."
Faith is something I've had since my childhood. There have been long periods of dryness when I've struggled with my faith. Other times it's been there like a refreshing spring.
To be honest, the dry days outnumber the rest by far. During these times, I strive daily to keep the faith.
This struggle brings out so many questions: What does it mean to have faith? What difference does it make in my life or the lives of others?
When the unfairness of life slaps me in the face, I ask God why, how could you let this happen? I want to know why such misfortune can fall to some and others seem constantly blessed.
Then I remember, oftentimes grudgingly, that God is someone I can't understand. I have to rely on faith.
A god that can fit in the shoebox of my understanding is not a god that interests me.
Being a Christian, the Judeo-Christian record (primarily the Bible), speaks to me of a world that has struggled with unfairness and unfaithfulness from the beginning. The record also shows grace and faithfulness coexisting from the beginning.
Those familiar with the story will recognize that the grace and constant faithfulness have been from God.
As a regular viewer of the Discovery Channel, I've found it to be an excellent source of entertainment for watching custom motorcycles being built, scientific expeditions under the seas and far-flung theories about religion.
Perhaps my weakness of faith is a blessing when watching the "religious" shows. I don't have enough faith to believe in a God of secret codes and lost gospels.
I do have faith and belief in a God who speaks to us in the quiet moments.
Through the dry periods there have been glorious moments, like seeing my newborn nephews and niece (with a new niece due any day), seeing my wife coming down the aisle on our wedding day, walking at night through newly fallen snow, or calling home and hearing my father-in-law is in my backyard trimming the hedge that has gotten way out of hand. (He did it again this Monday).
Greatness is a high calling for most of us.
Most days, about as close as I can get is holding the door for another or maybe someday trimming someone else's hedge. Parents who work hard to raise their children the right way are high on the list of greatness to me.
Faith, I'm sure, will always be a struggle for me. When suffering through the dry spells, I'll pray for rain.
I'll have to rely on the few things I can see, to help me hold onto the things I can't see.
While writing this column, at my computer, I had to know one thing for certain. I checked my pockets and found one pen.
I guess I'll have to have faith, that this one will be enough.